Written by Joy Seunarine.
The farmhouse I lived in when I was 11 situated on top a small incline sported a sprawling front lawn with fields on either sides. The road in front saw few cars coming through. One evening after dinner I announced that I would take my bike to the road to get the evening paper. 15 minutes after doing that my dad and my siblings heard the screech of brakes and a woman, shouting and screaming. They rushed down to find me still on my bike, having missed by inches, being hit by an oncoming car; I had turned into the road without looking. Later that night as I was getting ready for bed it occurred to me that death had brushed very close. Daddy, could I have died today”, I asked as the slow realization dawned on me. In one of the kindest interactions I ever had with my dad he said, “my child death can come very quickly.” Then he relayed the story of the loss of his dear uncle when Dad was in his twenties. That moment has stuck with me through the years. I believe it was the tone of Dad’s voice that conveyed loving care, protective warmth and reminded me that I was safe. At some level, the community of family assuaged my psychic wounds.
The polyvagal theory, coming out of the work of Stephen Porges discusses the key role the vagus nerve plays in regulating our emotional state. Depending on external factors, our brain via the vagus nerve orchestrates a response to either fight, freeze or feel calm and socially engaged. This sense of connection is possible when we feel a sense of safety. Healing and repair occurs best when we are calm and have a sense of connection. Porges documented the importance of the ventral arm of the vagus nerve in regulating this optimal state of well being, connection and calm. This state is often referred to as the ventral vagal state.
Why is it important to understand these functions? Chronic stress elevates our heart rate, leading to adrenal exhaustion all of which increase inflammation and are the precursors to ill health. Living in‘survival mode’ is very common. The good news is that we can actively work with ourselves to help our body establish this ‘ventral vagal’ state of being. This is what is meant when the term ‘self regulation’ is used and is an important aspect of the Circles that I facilitate.
I run monthly circles focused on helping you create and maintain an anchor for your life despite whatever chaos is currently in your life. Exercise, good rest, good food all support this. In addition to that, there are a variety of tools that support working through stressful responses in the body so that the natural state of ease, the function of the ventral arm of the vagus nerve can be recruited as needed. Meditation, tapping, journalling, immersion in nature are a few of the tools I work with in my circles. We learn to listen to our bodies signals, hear their messages and shift into a more peaceful state. In addition to this, Rosenberg has developed specific exercise to promote ventral vagal function, some of which I utilize in my work as a bodyworker and in my circles.
Sometimes a sense of social engagement happens easily and effortlessly. At other times, in the midst of turbulence, it imperative that we learn to regulate and calm ourselves through a rehearsed, practiced skill set. At 11, I was fortunate to be in the midst of a loving family that brought me out of shock and calmed my nerves. As an adult, I am grateful I have found ways to do this for myself.
About Joy:
