Written By Simone Usselman-Tod
Let’s be real—life doesn’t usually ask if we’re ready. It just shows up, sometimes with a gentle nudge and other times like a freight train. And when that happens, how do we keep our footing and not lose ourselves in the chaos?
That’s where emotional resilience comes in. Not as a personality trait some people are born with, but as a strength we can build. A kind of inner steadiness that helps us ride the waves of life with more grace and less overwhelm.
The Window of Tolerance: Staying in Your Zone
I like to think of our nervous system like a window. When we’re in our “window of tolerance,” we feel clear, calm, and capable. But when life pushes us outside that window, we might shut down, lash out, freeze—or just feel off.
The good news? That window can be expanded. Bit by bit, through things like breathwork, grounding, movement, rest, and emotional regulation, we create more room to breathe and respond instead of react.
That’s where true confidence begins to grow—from knowing we can meet whatever life throws our way without abandoning ourselves.
Confidence Isn’t Loud
Here’s something I’ve learned (and re-learned): confidence doesn’t have to be bold or loud. It’s not about being fearless. It’s about trusting yourself—even when you’re scared. It’s about knowing you can feel hard things and still move forward with intention.
Real confidence is feeling grounded in your own skin. It’s the quiet knowing that you’ll figure it out, one breath, one step at a time.
You Need Space to Grow
This might be the most important piece: you can’t build resilience or confidence without space. In a world that pushes us to do more, be more, and keep up appearances, the bravest thing you can do is slow down and tend to yourself.
That means making space to rest. To feel. To say no. To take a walk. To take a breath. To check in with what you need instead of pushing through on autopilot.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s how we stay strong. It’s how we show up for the things and people we care about without burning out or losing our spark.
A Few Simple Practices That Really Help
Here are a few things I’ve seen make a real difference—both for myself and the women I coach:
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Name it to tame it. Labeling what you’re feeling creates a bit of space. “I’m noticing anxiety” is gentler and more helpful than “I’m freaking out.”
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Breathe with intention. A slow exhale is one of the quickest ways to let your body know it’s safe.
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Celebrate small wins. Every time you respond with grace—or even just stay present—you’re building resilience. Give yourself credit.
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Anchor into your strength. Remember a time you felt strong, calm, or proud. Let that feeling settle into your body. You can come back to it anytime.
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Make space to check in. Even five quiet minutes can reset your whole day. Ask yourself: “What do I need right now?”
You Don’t Have to Be Unshakeable
Resilience doesn’t mean you’re never rocked. It means you can find your way back to center when life pulls you off course.
Confidence doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means you’re willing to pause, listen, and lead yourself with compassion—even when things are messy.
So give yourself space. Be kind to your nervous system. Take the time you need. That’s not stepping back—that’s stepping into your power.
“Confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers—
It comes from creating space to listen, reset, and trust yourself again.”
Simone Usselman-Tod
We’re all learning how to meet life with a little more grace, a little more strength, and a whole lot more self-trust.
And the beautiful thing is: you don’t have to do it alone.
About Simone Usselman-Tod
Stress Mastery and Goal Accelerator Coach
Simone Usselman-Tod is a Neuro-Linguistic Coach and Neuro Change Practitioner with a background in Health Science. She combines practical psychology with neuroscience to help entrepreneurial women gain traction, implement lasting change, and achieve their goals with efficiency and effectiveness. Simone specializes in helping her clients reprogram limiting patterns, habits, and beliefs, enabling them to overcome self-doubt, worries, and fears. By mastering their inner game and leveraging their strengths, her clients achieve results beyond their expectations.
Simone works with both emerging and established entrepreneurial women who are ready to gain momentum and develop mastery to accelerate their success. She currently facilitates Goal Accelerator programs designed to help participants conquer their limitations, achieve rapid transformation, and reach their full potential in health, career, relationships, and finances.
Book a 30-minute goal accelerator call to learn more: https://simoneusselmantod.com/book/
Learn more at: https://linktr.ee/simoneusselmantod
Simone is founder of the Wild About Wellness Community where members passionate about holistic health and wellness come together to share information, educate and contribute for the purpose of learning and growing. You are invited to explore the site with a free 1-month membership. Get your 1-month free membership HERE. Register for our FREE monthly events HERE